...this is what im afraid of...my bf, hazzy (a.k.a: hazzy the all wise one), doesnt understand why im so scared about what he'll think when he sees me for the first time. yea, thats rite, he hasnt seen me yet. im not pretty at all. all i am is skinny and a tomboy. and being small doesnt make me pretty at all. it just means i have a huge chance of being squished on the sidewalk.
he's so lookin forward to seeing me. but i can imagine his face wen he does...and wen we finally meet face to face for the first time. i feel sick...literally...
he told me that nina's worried about what her bf soujiro will think wen he sees her for the first time too. but come on. shes a skinny blonde who barely ever eats. its DEFINATELY just paranoia there. soujiro told me that she told him that there wer alot of boys at her school who are in love with her. well, NO boys are in love with me, and for good reason too. im shy, pale as hell, wear these huge jeans which i need to pull up all the time these days and my huge black jacket, i never actually TRY to look good in public because i gave up yonks ago, i have no boobs for them to sit there and perve at all day and i look like the innocent sweet type, but everybody knows i always have to see the school shrink. plus i look odd. im always seen as the 'friends but no further' type. i dont even have any male friends anymore because i dont hang around with that 'floater' group. im a FULL ON OUTCAST and LONER. everybody seems to think i have absolutely no friends when its obvious that i do because their always STANDING RIGHT BESIDE ME.
whenever i tell an online friend that im ugly, they say they 'bet im gawjus.' they dont GET IT! im not just saying it! its all true! its not modesty!!!
im telling u, haz will regret getting with me in the first place! i should just leave him some time after i show him my pic to save him the trouble of figuring out a way to dump me.
im telling u, haz will regret getting with me in the first place! i should just leave him some time after i show him my pic to save him the trouble of figuring out a way to dump me.
thats it...im starving myself...i dont care wut anybody says or if mum tries to make me eat or not...im not eating anything...
laterz...
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